On the Cusp

To say I have had a crazy few weeks is a bit of understatement. The non-extended version is as follows;

Mr Big (ex BF/ Best Friend with occasional benefits) broke up with his girlfriend of three months at his own decision. She went a little stalker-esque for a week or so there so I spent a fair whack of time talking to him, supporting him in what I personally thought was a really great choice! Stemming from this Big was booked on a 3 week overseas holiday to leave on 5th of August, luckily he asked if I wanted to go with him now that there was a vacancy.......and I said yes! So with about a week and a bits notice I told work that I need 3 weeks off work(which they gave me a bit begrudgingly), I then have to get everything ready at work for me to be away for 3 weeks and then start to think about packing!!!!

Now on top of the usual work/ packing stresses, I am FREAKING OUT. Spending 24/ 7 with Big and Big having to put up with me 24/ 7 is alarming me, I get that I am a pretty good person most of the time, but ALL of the time I assume that I am really annoying to be around and I wonder how we are going to deal with that. I mean we have known each other for 16 years and practically have an encyclopedic knowledge on each other (well in all honesty he knows more about me than I do about him) but we have never spent allot of time in a confined space together.

On top of that there is my biggest concern of all. I feel like I am on the cusp of getting exactly what I want (being in a relationship with the boy that I have always loved) and I am shit scared I am going to mess it up. This holiday will be a totally make or break situation for us, worst case scenario we come home best mates which isn't a bad option I know, its the option of everything working out I think that really scares me because I don't think that I ever really thought it would happen. So set in the backdrop of a 5 star hotel in Phuket, Thailand my little story will play out over the next few weeks.

Limited to no Internet access means that I will be mostly cut off from the world and everyone in it. I will have to go a little old school with the writing with a pen and paper and put them up for you all when I get back......whether they be good, bad or even a little bit ugly! So wish me luck to survive the next 2 days of work and cross your fingers and your toes and anything else you can cross to wish me luck on this adventure and to the happy ending that i always wanted. Agggghhh!!!