Ok so the last 24 hours can best be described as hellish and I had half expected myself to write a rant and rave blog about heartache and heartbreak, but by about 2pm this afternoon I ran out of tears and since then I have had an eerie calm feeling. I made a decision to walk away with my head held high onto bigger and better things, having now thought about that I have NO IDEA WHAT I WANT!
I am 28, soon to be 29 years old, single, currently in a job that bores the crap out of me by about 11:30am each day and I could do blind folded, I rent a property with my mum (so technically not living with my mum in the traditional 'loaf off your parents' kind of way but still having the uncool points), I still feel like crap most days with the racing heart and lethargy from lack of iron and stupidly in my early 20's decided it was fun to use credit cards so I now spend a fair whack of my disposable income clearing that up, fingers crossed it should all be gone by the time I am 30 but until then I feel 'trapped' in this very uninspiring life. I don't remember what I expected my life to be like, but I am pretty sure that this was not the way I thought it would go, I wanted this very cool happy life and now all that I have are millions of questions as to what comes next......What do I want to do everyday? Where do I want to live? Will I find my soul mate? Will I get to have children? And when will this life start??
I have decided that my new start begins tomorrow. I will put on my game face, fight my best fight, stop hiding behind crappy excuses and not let people treat me like crap and think that it is OK. Now this is not going to be a quick or easy but I think that once I figure 'Me' out the rest will fall into place.....if not there is always liquor to numb the pain xx
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